Goodbye year 2008 - you were full of ups, downs, achievements, failures and changes. Like the years before, you've brought me a lot of change. Thank you for bringing Shane into my life - he's the best thing I've ever had. 2008 ended and began with Shane. You know what they say - what you do at midnight is what you'll be doing for the whole year. I'll be hanging out, having fun and share a lot of love. That's what I hope for 2009. Although I'm not a firm believer in resolutions, I decided to keep the resolution I had for the last several years. That is to say, my resolution is to have a resolution. I do however have "goals" in mind. Realistic and essential goals that I've mapped out for myself already. For this year, I plan to do well in school and do more work on my art. I plan to have pieces done, prints printed, originals, and etc ready before con season. I plan to make Otafest an exceptional success I want to go to Seattle again - I might miss a bit of school but it honestly doesn't matter to me. PAX is a must. I have no worries about work... I'm almost thinking of quitting. I think the job is taking it's toll. I was called a liar (I am not a fucking liar) by a customer and nearly walked out. I'm tired of being treated so poorly by people - they become retards when electronics are put into play. I think I'll wait until at least February and see how I'm feeling. Meanwhile, I'll be looking at job listings for part-time work that pays about the same (or preferably more.) Hopefully I find something because I like my coworkers and my job is fairly easy but people are retarded. I really hate being at a place that makes me feel uncomfortable. This isn't really a goal - just potential thoughts. Some things I have to look forward to are...: +One year anniversary with Shane in March!!! +School! +Con season (maybe I can make all the ones I've been meaning the make. Animethon is no longer Rose-worthy.) +Otafest 09! +Spending time with all my wonderful friends <333

Best Text EVER:

Shane: Last exam! Wish me luck!

Rose: Good Luck! I love you!!!

Shane: If I die, I want you to never move on, I will haunt you!

Rose: Oddly, I'm okay with that....

This made me happy :D

This portfolio is kiling me.

Some people who dislike me seem to only think of the bad qualities - that's all people really focus on. Me? I tend to just ignore it and move on. I don't like to focus on the things that don't matter to me anymore. The past is the past and if it was really that bad of an effect, that's fine but there's really no need to act like a kid in high school. Name calling, bashing and gossip really isn't going to help the cause.

All in all, you can blame me for all your past problems but you were given the CHOICE to go through with those things. Don't tell me you didn't make mistakes and say it's all my fault.

With all the faults you think I have, with all the things you think are wrong with me, no matter how much you hate me, I still continue to live my life qutie happily. I have a supportive group of friends who, no doubt about it would go behind my back or leave me. Or stare blankly as I walk by. I worked my ass off for close to <i>two</i> years so I could pay for a good chunk of school out of <i>my own pocket</i>. I may still be just finishing my first year after all this time, but quite frankly, at least I was doing something with the time. I at least enjoy what I do and I just want to make sure I don't rush the process. At least <i>I didn't get kicked out of school.</i>

Most of all I have Shane. He loves me and I love him too. I tell him I love him every single day. He tells me he loves me every single day. I've never been so happy. It doesn't matter what we do or what we say. Even the silence is peaceful and isn't even awkward at all. I love waking up to him in the morning and having his arms curled around me and feeling oh-so warm.

I have little to nothing that I can complain about. I'm incredibly happy. Which I suppose is more than I can say about you. You're sour, and bitter, and you haven't gotten over the fact that you were hurt. Yes, it was a big deal to you, but if you don't think I was worth it, why even bother giving me the attention? If you think I'm that bad, why even degrade yourself down to that level? It's about time to let go and just leave it alone. I do admit I am at fault for a lot. I do still feel a tinge of guilt but I've let it go. You only get older and you only have the rest of your life.

Just wanted to give fixing a happy belated birthday! I'm late...only because I was sleeping all day yesterday ;_;

Work in progress...
( unfinished crap inside )

Man, I'm so sleepy.

Anyways, I'm still on a hunt for a new job, I applied at the Met Grill, so hopefully something comes of that since I need some quick cash for my trip to Seattle in August (let's not mention the accumulated debt.) Oh man, the date's coming in so closely it's almost scary.

I've been hanging around Jenny, Sue and Ayla a lot and I've been having so much fun! The only downfall is that I haven't had a lot of time to work on commissions...but oh well. I need to start thinking about school again and start working on my portfolio for winter semester. I'm not entirely worried, but I should start scheduling myself to work on art stuff when I can. I think this year, I'll just hand in an online portfolio instead if I can. I still have to buy a lot of paper supplies for projects and finishings. Black bristol gets pricey. ><

On another note, my mind is just swimming with ideas. For some reason though, my head won't let my ideas explode onto paper. I hate it when that happens. Damn.

Also, losing track of what day it is. Oh goodness...too much time unemployed = loss of time.

I am livid. Angry. Pissed the fuck off. There's a reason I put in my two week's notice at my job but I have never hated it so much in my time there. There's a reason I didn't try and find a job BEFORE I quit. I can't stand any more time there. I feel so close to walking out. I'm sick of the drama and shit that protrudes from the rear end of my store. I hate being blamed for shit from a bunch of fucking hypocrites.

I hate people who waste my time.

I hate people who are altruistic and lecturing me even though I'm in a position HIGHER than they are.

I hate the fact that I put up with this shit for $10.25/hr.

I. Don't. Give. A flying. FUCK.

I am sick of being thrown into the worst situations without any help, despite the fact that I'm expected to help SOMEONE ELSE.

FUCK YOU. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.

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12 Days!!! Yay!

Also, I am finding much satisfaction with shooting terrorists in Vegas2. Haha.

If any of you have XBox Live, my gamertag = p4nd3m0nium.

Good day today! yay!

I was reading something tonight.
Suddenly everything just rushed back to me - everything that happened in November and I'm having a 5 month delay of freaking right the fuck out.

I don't know what the fuck just happened, but all of a sudden, I'm really upset. I can't stop crying.

What the fuck!

Fuck my life.

So...I had an interview the other day with Otvos Advertising. For the position of an Account Coordinator. I got a call back for a second interview. I might not get it, but the fact that they even considered me to be qualified for this job is pretty darn...amazing. If I do get this job, it...seems like a lot of hard work! But it sounds like a lot of fun. If I do get this job, it would mean I would organize advertising for print media, scheduling, project completion...

There are also travel opportunities involved.

And the pay is amazing.

So...here's to hoping!

Happy New Year, everyone! I hope everyone had a good time!

Someone wanted to hear me sing. So I made a video. And uhh...butchered this song. :D

This is a lonely, lonely Christmas I'm going to have.